SCR888

Our egos control most of us and most of what we do. That systematic building of responses and actions that happen in an instant without us even giving a thought, are part of that ego. It can be changed. The ego is part of what gives us confidence and tries to see to our "well being" at all times. While there seems to be nothing wrong with that, is it how you really want to live? Is it how you want to feel? Frankly, I'm tired of uncertainty, fear, arrogance, and anger determining my responses to what life offers me. Those things have held me back and continue to do so. If I didn't stop and be mindful of my life and the fact that I am going to die, there is no way I would have made the personal strides I have made. Some may not believe they are positive, but in my skin, most of what I have let go of has made me a much happier human being. I'm wiggling free of the ego. Hell, I just quit my job of 15 years. Odd thing is, other than the "voice" telling me that I was an idiot and I should just stick with the safeness and stability of where I am, my mother has been the only other person to have a negative view of what I've done. Is it a coincidence that the false self, the protecting of the self by my ego happens to agree with my mom? The person who raised me and without a doubt was responsible for some of the negative traits in my personality as well as the positive? Not knocking mom. Just saying that we all have influences and stimulus. They have shaped who we are. But, if those things shaped us, then are we who we think we are? We didn't make conscious decisions to become the people we are. It was all built by learning or being taught how others behave.
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